Sunday, May 30, 2010

Drama

Do you have one of those Drama Queen's in you life? I do have one of those, and every time it makes me thankful to have a boring old life thank you very much. Unfortunately life has a funny way of thinking you may need other things. Thus I ended up being the drama queen.

Life has gotten the better of me again. Hubs had to have another amputation. This time his lower left leg. Leading up to this though hasn't been fun and he has been in tremendous pain. As crazy as it sounds it was the best possible thing we could have done and he is doing really well. My emotions have been running high for some time anyway with all the changes we have had over the past few years. I did fine for the longest and then it just seemed to catch up to me.

A nagging thought kept occurring to me that made drama more susceptible. "why do I always have to bite my tongue or be the better person"? Sometimes, and at this time, I feel like just saying exactly what I mean. Of course it gets me in trouble. I guess I am just going through the steps, this one anger?

Ever since hubs had been having problems I have been on the search....Why?....Why us?
But if not us it would have to be someone right? Then the search turned to the plan. I tried to make that deal," Ok, God, just show me the plan or at least the next step and i will do it and everything will be ok right?" yeah that doesn't work so much either.

Recently I had the opportunity to go to my first ever Christian Conference and Concert. Yeah! I know!!! I live under a rock. Conferences and concerts just haven't been a high priority. Anyway! Women of Joy was just what I needed before the storm of the amputation. And I let go of the idea of seeing, knowing, understanding the plan or the next step. A light bulb went on, "that is faith, duh". There were so many inspirational speakers at this conference that touched me in different ways. I guarantee I will make a point to do them in the future, what an uplifting experience.

I needed to go beyond just going to church. I need that one on one. I had it once and lost sight of it through this crazy ride called life. I have my sights set back on it. It may not always be fun but I think I may not loose sight this time, I pray!!

Thank you to my kind friend for sending me

Isaiah 35:3-4

Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who are of a fearful heart,
"Be strong, do not Fear!.......

It was just what I needed the day of surgery. I still think of how powerful this verse is. Thank you God for putting , my friend, in my life to give me these words . Just what I needed and didn't even know it, thank you for knowing it for me!

What are some of your favorite verses to go to in a very tough time?