Thank you kind friends

I got such wonderful friends here and you all have been so kind. I would like to take a moment to say how much I appreciate all of you for your concern about my husband. I really makes my journey down this road much easier with such great people around me, even virtually although some of you I know in real life.

To answer some questions that came up in the comments I would like to give you a bit of information about this virtually unknown disease. I say unknown because my dh saw about 10 specialists and all didn't have a clue what exactly he had, just what he didn't. So I will give you the gist.

Buerger's disease is for those who have smoked ALOT in their life. I didn't think my hubby smoked that much but then again almost the moment we started dating he knew I didn't like the habit and therefore he didn't really do it around me. Thus my knowledge on the amount was pretty limited. He picked up smoking somewhere around age 13-14. Crazy since my oldest son is about to turn 13 and I can't fathom him smoking. Thank goodness he is hs'ed so he doesn't have those types of influences around him. Anyway about a year ago my dh's fingers started turning bluish white when it got cold. His mom has Raynaud's so we just assumed that when cold, this would continue to happen to him. The his skin started to sort of get really tight and a sore started to form, later we would discover these are called ulcers. He thinking he had an infection tried to heal it with bandages and neosporin. This actually made it open and then the fun began. It didn't go away until we went on vacation in June. Kid you not. He had this ulcer for about 4-5 months. It also started to hurt a bit. Then when it did heal it didn't seem his skin wanted to grow back so he sort of lost a chunk at the tip of his finger, hmm weird but ok. He got all cleared up while we were on vacation in South Carolina. He had no pain and things seemed to go back to normal. Then we came back and one of his toes decided to get an ulcer. He again tried bandages and neosporin and it again opened up and has yet to heal. It has been about 3 months now. About a month ago another finger started to get an ulcer and we decided not to bandage it and just put the cream to make the skin not as tight which was causing discomfort. This seems to have not made it open so we are hoping that will be a good thing. About 3 weeks ago dh noticed on the same foot his toe had an ulcer the ball of his foot had a bruise. A week and a half passed and we saw it was no bruise but what appeared to be another ulcer. It has yet to open but if it does we are in deep kimpshe(sp?). Actually dh just informed me that it opened last night (thursday), great. Now he is hobbling even more. :(

Dh is a disabled Veteran so alot has been going through the V.A. But after having seen the umpteenth specialist and no one having an answer we went to our doctor. He also didn't have an answer. We tried a herbalist that lives in Canyon City that gave Chris some crystals and such and that didn't seem to help either. He has had cat scans, X-Ray's, blood work among other things. He has been put on several antibiotics, steroids, blood thinners, pain medications and even been offered (ahem) a medical prescription for marijuana (ahem)? Seriously? Appearntly good for cronic pain? Nothing seems to work .

One day he was working , at the state hospital, and one of the doctors and older Asian gentlemen and him were talking and after about 30 min. the guy said Dh has Buerger's disease. Dh looked it up and we were astounded at how this seemed to be what he had. We brought this to a couple of the doctors he had been seeing and they all agreed. Umm what exactly am I paying you for? Sickening. Anyway at least we now have what we believe a name to the mystery ailment that has been following us for about a yr now. That in itself was something of a relief. Unfortunatly there isn't a thing that can cure this disease. The doctors can only really try to help with the symptoms. Upon research though I discovered that the ulcers go away after 1 1/2-2 yrs of appearing. Of course that is dependent upon quiting smoking. I having never been a fan of dh's smoking habit was in favor of him quitting throughout our marriage. Last yr in March he quit for good, so I thought. But apparently he has had a couple here and there ,errrg. When a doctor tells you that you will loose a digit if you don't quit smoking it makes you much more likely to do so. He was not nearly as addicted anymore so quitting the here and now cig was not a hard choice to make, especially at the expense of his digits.

We are now upon winter which is no friend of my dh and his digits. He has 3 ulcers, two on one foot and one on his finger. The doctors are unsure whether the one on his finger is now gangrene. This can happen in Buerger's disease. We are keeping a close eye on it. The last doctor he saw was amazed that he was still working. Apparently pain medication is my dh's friend and as long as his boss is not privy to him being this medicated everyone gets along just great. Umm do you see my dilemma here? These statements brought to my attention just how serious our situation is. Dh being a MAN (ugghh) didn't really let me see just how much pain he is in and just how much medication he is taking and just how much he really probably shouldn't be working. What happens if he doesn't work. I haven't the foggiest. I don't have the type of skills to bring in equal amount of money as he does. I might be able to cover our mortgage or food and gas but not everything we have coming in. Where does this leave us? It leaves us possibly getting 100% disability through the V.A. He is already 50% so it isn't such a stretch but they just don't hand that out. Plus what will happen to my 32 yr old hubby if he can never work again?? How will that affect his health? Will it be better? All doctors agree on one thing- Move to a warmer climate.

Dh's family has a homesteaded property, 50 acres, in South Carolina. The house burned to the ground 2 yrs ago. We would need to build and live in nowhere ville. They don't even have a Wal-Mart. On the other hand perhaps not having a Wal-Mart isn't such a bad thing after all. Plus I just moved a little over a yr ago so I am not looking forward to moving again. But if there is a chance it will make my hubby better I am certainly willing to try. And this ladies and gentlemen has been my predicament for the past few months, or more acuratley about a yr I just didn't realize it.

I would like to say again that I feel so blessed to have such good people around me. Thank you so much for all your prayers and warm thoughts. I really appreicate it and my heart is swelled and warm and fuzzy. I am the kind of person that likes to try and look at the positive side and well that is that I am fortunate enough to still have my dh around, crippled as he may be. He is here. That is such a good thing that having to deal with this illness doesn't seem quite as bad, kwim?

Vanessa