Thinking it through

It is getting closer as we head into warmer weather school is coming to a close and I am trying to make sure they get them all done. I know I said it before but we will never do K-12. It's not for us. I am trying to decide what to do for the next year as Austin has expressed that he wants to go back to ps. He seems to think I am trying to put him in a bubble and protect him. Of course that is what I am doing but not the way he thinks. I am sure I am not the first hs mom with a teen that wants to go to ps. Since he has been before I feel it is a loosing battle, but why do I feel this need to give in? I know that this year has been horrible between moving and trying one school then switching. Could it be possible that I too am not the only one to have a trying year and only see the road leading one way. What if I do send him back? I survived right? yeah but I now see that is all I did. I didn't really retain any of it and had to relearn it in College. I hated school and dropped out. Now that I have been/am hs'ing for 4 years we have come into some of the most brilliant learning enviroments ever. Plus they are not being molded into the cookie cutter, they are able to develop their self. I enjoy watching them evolve on their own, not on their best friends time table.I am discontent and unsure of how to proceed. Austin says he hates hs. It saddens me every time he says it. Always in a joking manner, with intent. As I push he pulls and that needs to be fixed. Every time I have ever done anything hs oriented he ended up having a blast even if he didn't start that way. If he does stay hs how do I bring him around? I sure can't do it here (the boonies, sc)as he has no hs peers. I simply must figure this out and get a plan of action going to ensure that there is a working plan come "school" year.



Colin has also expressed interest in going back. With him I think he would be fine either way, so chances are he will hs next year. Conner has stated that he wants to hs next year. Last year we did CBS, Karate, Ice skating and various other activities with hs groups and it was great. The kids had a wonderful array of hs peers. This gave me a look at high school too as alot of those students were in this category. I simply loved these kids attitude towards their peers (kids of all ages) and to adults. I am not suggesting these kids are perfect just saying I see a clear difference in the attitude of these kids vs. kids from ps (that I have met or observed). For our family that is what I would love to see is the attitude of those hs'ing kids influencing my kids. I want them to find interesting ways to learn instead of boring lectures. Can I still do that in ps? I could to an extent. I have observed Austin in ps and I have seen him with his peers from ps and his peers from hs groups. The attitude I see in him toward myself, other adults and his peers is almost night and day and that is what I fear will be if he does go back to ps. Perhaps I should figure out how to help him act his normal self when being influence to act this way. How do I do that?

I need instruction. I need to figure out what is best for each of the kids, but haven't the foggiest on how to do that . Well I think I got Colin and Conner figured out but not Austin. How do you approach bigger decisions for the kids like that? We aren't talking about letting them have a soda, this is school and bigger even then that it is the shaping of my kids. I wish I knew the right answers. How is it that the older I get I feel more confused then ever? Alright, I have bored you with my crazy thoughts enough. I hope I got it all right as my thought jumble.