Drama

Do you have one of those Drama Queen's in you life? I do have one of those, and every time it makes me thankful to have a boring old life thank you very much. Unfortunately life has a funny way of thinking you may need other things. Thus I ended up being the drama queen.

Life has gotten the better of me again. Hubs had to have another amputation. This time his lower left leg. Leading up to this though hasn't been fun and he has been in tremendous pain. As crazy as it sounds it was the best possible thing we could have done and he is doing really well. My emotions have been running high for some time anyway with all the changes we have had over the past few years. I did fine for the longest and then it just seemed to catch up to me.

A nagging thought kept occurring to me that made drama more susceptible. "why do I always have to bite my tongue or be the better person"? Sometimes, and at this time, I feel like just saying exactly what I mean. Of course it gets me in trouble. I guess I am just going through the steps, this one anger?

Ever since hubs had been having problems I have been on the search....Why?....Why us?
But if not us it would have to be someone right? Then the search turned to the plan. I tried to make that deal," Ok, God, just show me the plan or at least the next step and i will do it and everything will be ok right?" yeah that doesn't work so much either.

Recently I had the opportunity to go to my first ever Christian Conference and Concert. Yeah! I know!!! I live under a rock. Conferences and concerts just haven't been a high priority. Anyway! Women of Joy was just what I needed before the storm of the amputation. And I let go of the idea of seeing, knowing, understanding the plan or the next step. A light bulb went on, "that is faith, duh". There were so many inspirational speakers at this conference that touched me in different ways. I guarantee I will make a point to do them in the future, what an uplifting experience.

I needed to go beyond just going to church. I need that one on one. I had it once and lost sight of it through this crazy ride called life. I have my sights set back on it. It may not always be fun but I think I may not loose sight this time, I pray!!

Thank you to my kind friend for sending me

Isaiah 35:3-4

Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who are of a fearful heart,
"Be strong, do not Fear!.......

It was just what I needed the day of surgery. I still think of how powerful this verse is. Thank you God for putting , my friend, in my life to give me these words . Just what I needed and didn't even know it, thank you for knowing it for me!

What are some of your favorite verses to go to in a very tough time?

Thinking it through

It is getting closer as we head into warmer weather school is coming to a close and I am trying to make sure they get them all done. I know I said it before but we will never do K-12. It's not for us. I am trying to decide what to do for the next year as Austin has expressed that he wants to go back to ps. He seems to think I am trying to put him in a bubble and protect him. Of course that is what I am doing but not the way he thinks. I am sure I am not the first hs mom with a teen that wants to go to ps. Since he has been before I feel it is a loosing battle, but why do I feel this need to give in? I know that this year has been horrible between moving and trying one school then switching. Could it be possible that I too am not the only one to have a trying year and only see the road leading one way. What if I do send him back? I survived right? yeah but I now see that is all I did. I didn't really retain any of it and had to relearn it in College. I hated school and dropped out. Now that I have been/am hs'ing for 4 years we have come into some of the most brilliant learning enviroments ever. Plus they are not being molded into the cookie cutter, they are able to develop their self. I enjoy watching them evolve on their own, not on their best friends time table.I am discontent and unsure of how to proceed. Austin says he hates hs. It saddens me every time he says it. Always in a joking manner, with intent. As I push he pulls and that needs to be fixed. Every time I have ever done anything hs oriented he ended up having a blast even if he didn't start that way. If he does stay hs how do I bring him around? I sure can't do it here (the boonies, sc)as he has no hs peers. I simply must figure this out and get a plan of action going to ensure that there is a working plan come "school" year.



Colin has also expressed interest in going back. With him I think he would be fine either way, so chances are he will hs next year. Conner has stated that he wants to hs next year. Last year we did CBS, Karate, Ice skating and various other activities with hs groups and it was great. The kids had a wonderful array of hs peers. This gave me a look at high school too as alot of those students were in this category. I simply loved these kids attitude towards their peers (kids of all ages) and to adults. I am not suggesting these kids are perfect just saying I see a clear difference in the attitude of these kids vs. kids from ps (that I have met or observed). For our family that is what I would love to see is the attitude of those hs'ing kids influencing my kids. I want them to find interesting ways to learn instead of boring lectures. Can I still do that in ps? I could to an extent. I have observed Austin in ps and I have seen him with his peers from ps and his peers from hs groups. The attitude I see in him toward myself, other adults and his peers is almost night and day and that is what I fear will be if he does go back to ps. Perhaps I should figure out how to help him act his normal self when being influence to act this way. How do I do that?

I need instruction. I need to figure out what is best for each of the kids, but haven't the foggiest on how to do that . Well I think I got Colin and Conner figured out but not Austin. How do you approach bigger decisions for the kids like that? We aren't talking about letting them have a soda, this is school and bigger even then that it is the shaping of my kids. I wish I knew the right answers. How is it that the older I get I feel more confused then ever? Alright, I have bored you with my crazy thoughts enough. I hope I got it all right as my thought jumble.

16

The amount of years I put up with my hubs will be 16 on the 16th. I can't believe that it has been that long since we met in our high school library. He was all the trouble I could handle and it took him three weeks to convince me. But really that smile got me every time and still does. We have definitely had our share of ups and downs all these years, but it has so far been a good journey. I think of all our memories and find although we had a bit of a rocky start we managed to work through it and came out on top. We are not the same people we were when we started, but come on we were 17. I also think to the future and hope we can continue to compromise any issues that come along the way. I love that pain in the neck man that drives me crazy as only he knows how..........Happy 16th Anniversary

My mystery flower turns out to be daffodils

We are putting in a fence in the back. This will be a wonderful place for the dogs. Not to mention that we have had to take them out on leashes for about 2 1/2 yrs now. Well actually mostly the kids do it, but it is wearing everyone out and this will definetly make our lives so much easier. We are putting a chain link fence up since I think it silly to go with a privacy fence. I am not the biggest fan of chain link but I must say as the project is developing I am enjoying having a perimeter for the yard. It seems more managable to just have a backyard and frontyard and not really mess with the side yards for the most part. The boys have been helping with the project and it is interesting getting everyone to work together. I got out there and finished raking most of the gutters along the driveway only to find that perhaps it may have been easier to burn it. I even managed to till up the garden a bit and plant some onions, garlic, blueberry and rasberry. I still have a host of herbs and asperagus that I need to get in the ground. The asperagus is a bit daunting but I am excited about it at the same time. I am still planting and will continue to, hopefully I will have some pic's up soon.

I have also been trying to identify the birds that come to visit. Thus far I have what appears to be....

Robin(american robin)

Small woodpecker/possibly sapsucker

~still working on a good picture of this guy






Big woodpecker(pileated woodpecker?)

It's hard to tell but this woodpecker has a pecan in his beak.




small finch like brown bird


Still working on identifying this one, he's so small
He has a red cap with white eyebrow and black moustache.

The boys are even getting into it by telling me my woodpecker is back or a red cardinal is visiting. We are researching bird identification (or related) websites. It was fun to see what to look for as we start birding. I am even trying to keep a record of my visitors. I will inlist the boys help and have them build birdhouses for the different birds that are visiting and of course the ones we would like to visit. Isn't science fun. I even found a conservation project we can participate in to attract a certain hummingbird, more on this later. My favorite websites for birding thus far are

~ enature.com

~ birding.com


If there are sites you like to go to let me know. Enjoy your week.

Let it Snow

The backyard and fields covered in snow

Isn't it comical or perhaps a bit celestial that the year we move to South Carolina they break their 20 year no snow streak? It would seem we are responsible for about 6 inches of snow that hit last week. Yes of course i took pictures. I figured it was probably the first pictures of the farm with snow. It was pretty and white for all of one day. Half way through the roads were clear. I can tell you that doesn't happen in Colorado.

I bet it will never look the same

We got some inches

Austin and Colin went with the youth group on a skiing trip. Neither have ever gone skiing, although Austin has snowboarded. They left on Friday and by the time they finally arrived, 11:45 pm mind you, we had snow well on the scene. Conner was so excited since we really missed our snow season this year. Christmas was not the same. He also was unable to go because of his age. We bundled up and went outside. Chris pumped up a snow tube we had and roped it to the 4 wheeler. WE invited Marsha and her son and his wife. Conner got to go around a couple of times but of course my camera was dead. It was funny to see locals reaction to the snow. They were simply dumbfounded and awed. Snow Angels were made. Tracks in the snow for fun and of course what winter day would be complete without a snow man? Again I am sad to say by this time my camera was 6 ft under.

The boys came back on Sunday and Colin even bought me a magnet. What a thoughtful little kid. I love collecting magnets with pictures of the places we have been. I let him designate where on the fridge it would go. Now he has a reminder all the time. After getting some rest the boys talked non stop about this slope and that slope and what they ate and who they hung out with. It was good to see them so hyped up. They had great fellowship. I must say I am really pleased with the youth director at the church we have been attending. She is so easy going and relates to all ages so well. I still miss our church in the springs, but this church will do nicely.

I got a great deal on a Cricut recently but it really does take some playing with it to get the feeling of how it all works. I am still working out the kinks but I definitely have a much better understanding of that machine thanks to my niece. She sent me this cute little bookmark and so I thought I would return the favor and made one for her and one for her sister. I think they turned out rather cute and I can't wait to know whether the girls like them. It was really nice to be able to use some of my more feminine scrapbook stuff. I had such a fun time playing with the machine and figuring out what it can do and all that. I came up with so many extras that I sent to the girls figuring they would have fun gluing them all around.

I just adore this textured paper. It has such a wonderful dimension. I played with some puff paint and it didn't turn out so well. I love the odd heart as opposed to a perfect one.

this is where I love the cricut I could never have cut those hearts so thin and perfect. I also had some fun odds and ends around that I managed to implement. I hope she likes it.

This is the bookmark and I am sorry you can't tell very well that is still textured paper. The flowers came out so wonderful.

I've had this paper for a long time but because I have all boys I have not had a need for it. this was perfect way to utilize it and I am amazed at how perfectly the cutout flowers from the cricut match the dimensional flowers on the paper.

What projects are you all working on?

20 Year old bulbs?

I love flowers, but not in the typical buy me a dozen roses fashion; yet rather in the rose bush. I mean, don't get me wrong I do love getting flowers from my hubs but really it is the fact he thought of me. Flowers last about a week, two tops, if you know how to take care of them. A rose bush will last year in and out, as you watch it grow. Gardening is definitely something I like doing and I do know a bit about (just more then average). I moved from zone 5 to zone 8b. That means I get much more selection in the type of plants I want to grow. There are some plants that would not do well with in Colorado that will do very nicely here. We worked on getting a walkway of sorts out in front and have been noticing plants around the yard for some time. I thought they were wild as they seemed to appear everywhere with no rime or reason. We took out the old brick walkway that led up to the old house since now it didn't lead to the front door. Much to my surprise ,we saw more flowers start to appear in what seemed to flank the old walkway. This couldn't be, could it? No one has lived here for 20 years. Yes, some hunters came here but I am sure they did no gardening. So could this really be Chris's Grandmothers flowers? That would mean those bulbs replanted themselves for 20 years. Chris does say that there were many more flowers when his Grandmother lived here. With this in mind I find it really neat that they have survived and now I get to dig them out and transplant them in areas that make sense. I kind of like the idea of heirloom plants even if they aren't by definitions heirloom plants. I think it's a small tribute to her, to reuse these flowers. Here are some pics around the place

This poor tree has been pretty much eaten up by termites, it will need to come down. But it looks really cool.

These flowers came out in back. Apparently there used to be an outhouse that had a path to it with flowers all around. I can't wait to see actual flowers on them so I can identify them.

This picture didn't come out great so I drew on it to show you where the walkway was and where all the bulbs are showing up. That says walkway in the middle and the circles are the bulbs. Don't you think they look like they flank the walkway. Wouldn't it be neat if they were Chris's Grandmother's flowers. What a neat way to pay

All the rain we have been having showed me that I didn't get all the bricks from the old walkway.

Superbowl or really sports in general are not a huge thing in my house. We did love doing it with my Grandparents but really we just loved hanging with them. In the spirit, Chris and I cooked food and had the game on. Colin made a copy cat KFC coleslaw recipe. He was so cute dicing all that cabbage. I ended up helping since he had to do a whole head of cabbage. Chris made chili and hot wings. I made stuffed jalapenos, football shaped peanut butter chocolate rice krispies and Liquid center chocolate torte. I had always seen them and thought "no, that looks too hard". Then my boys stumbled upon "The worst cooks in America" on Food Network. Oh my goodness, we were hooked. Anyway these cooks made the chocolate torte so I thought it can't be that hard then. You know what it really wasn't, if you have wanted to try this go for it. I used the recipe that they used on the show. It was a chocolate heaven. I am definitely making them again.

Colin dicing up some cabbage. He pays alot of attention to the food network. Notice he has his palm on the knife to hold it in place. He got pretty good after a while. It was fun. Oh and the recipe did taste just like the KFC original. Yummmm

Liquid Center Chocolate torte. OOoey gooey chocolatey center with a light fluffy yet very rich chocolate outside. Simply a chocolate lovers delight.

Stuffed Jalapeno peppers turned out very good. It was a bit of work and taking that into consideration I am not sure we will make them again. If a recipe is alot of work it better be worth it, you know what I mean.

Chocolate peanut butter football shaped rice krispie treats. I forgot to get the icing and barely managed a picture before little fingers were grabbing them up not caring about the icing. At least they liked them

The copy cat coleslaw tasted just like the real thing, definitely a keeper recipe.

I am so ready for spring . I really am looking forward to finding out what all these bulbs are around here. We are in the yard all the time and people will be planting soon. I hope to have a vege garden and continue to get the yard in shape. Are you guy's ready for spring?

Neglect

It seems as if my blog has taken a huge hit the past year. I have not really neglected keeping it updated. I apologize. I almost was tempted to ditch the whole thing but I really do like it plus it can let my family back home know what we are up to. So I am going to be making sure to post at least weekly(cross your fingers).

Christmas came and went as did the new year. Do you call it twenty-ten or two thousand and ten? Dh's Uncle passed away in January. He had cancer of the esophagus. We all knew it was coming but it was still hard. Then to top it off his dad went into ICU a week ago. It seems we are not off to a good start for the year.We seem to have found a church home but haven't made it official with the church. It is definitely not what we are used to but it is a good little church with many wonderful hearts and great christian role models. The boys have enjoyed ice skating with them and a "lock down" on New Years Eve. Austin and Colin just signed up to go skiing in February at Seven Devils in North Carolina. I hope they cooperate when I ask for a couple of nice pic's together.

I am unsure if I have mentioned this but I am originally from Germany. Thus why my blog name is in German. Anyway I am still a permanent resident and I have come to the decision before my green card expires (every ten years)I am going to take the citizenship test. I have lived in this country much longer and really don't anticipate me moving to Germany. I hope you will enjoy the posts that will involve this as I am involving our hs of course. It should prove to be quite entertaining. I have also been doing a bit of cleaning and painting. We got an old wardrobe that was dirty and stinky. A good cleaning and a shiny new coat of paint and I can't wait to show you all the pic's. We are continuing to clean up in the yard and reclaiming it. The boys have been cutting down alot of undergrowth and trees. I love trees but really we had way too many. We also seem to continue to have drainage issues. It has been raining almost non stop. It doesn't even seem to stop long enough for the water to absorb into the ground. We get anywhere from 4-8 inches. I have a rain gage outside. After it rains we cannot use either the sliding door from the living room or the back door from the laundry room. Unless of course we want to hit the "pond" as we have "lovingly" termed the pool of water that insists on collecting in our backyard. Check out these.

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This is at the bottom of the living room stairs. This pot just floated from somewhere and the wheelbarrow the boys used to haul wood to this door for the fireplace.

This is sort of a weird angle from the living room door looking towards the laundry room door. I don't know why the litterbox was there as I had it moved to the barn.

I sure hope your guys' new year is turning out to be a good one. I have missed all of you so much so I can't wait to see ya'll back here.